Here’s a confession: I’ve been procrastinating about writing this week’s HoT Musing.
Why? Well, ’s certainly not because of a lack of ideas about what to write or share.
It’s because of a passing comment made to me by a business client the other day.
She said: “I’m really loving this new direction you’ve taken Kim, and I’m getting so much from it that’s transforming my life, and I’m really grateful. But, one of my colleagues here at work – who used to subscribe to your tips has just unsubscribed. She told me it was because you seem to have gone off into la-la land. Your tips used to be filled with really useful tools, techniques and strategies, but they’re not anymore – so she’s taken a hike”.
Just like any other human being, I am perfectly capable of creating feelings of insecurity and doubt. So, that’s what I’ve been doing. But I woke up this morning in a wonderful place of clarity and well-being, and decided to come clean with you all!
You see, I’ve not really been fair or honest with you. Most of you signed up for tips that encouraged you to DO something different – in order to become a better leader, trainer or facilitator. Or a better person, partner or parent. I don’t do that any more.
So, if you still want tips and tools, please unsubscribe. (You can e-mail me if that’s easier – firstname.lastname@example.org .)
Before you do that, though, I’d love it if you would read on for just another couple of minutes, whilst I explain that there may just be a good reason to stay subscribed.
“I really wanted to share a wonderful coaching session I had with Kim a couple of weeks ago. I was having very angry thoughts, ugly thoughts about everything, things at work have been a bit up-in-the-air, so I guess I’m having thoughts, experiences and feelings that are coming from a place of fear, anger and bitterness. I wondered if the planned coaching session with Kim would help at all. Maybe I just didn’t ‘get it’ and never would. Anyway, I turned up, (in every sense!) and have spent this week feeling completely at peace. Being with Kim didn’t feel like I was being ‘talked’ into getting it. It didn’t even feel like a ‘learning’ or an ‘understanding’ – it felt like a ‘remembering’ and I think that’s part of the magic of how Kim works. I felt a little like I was a bit tipsy, but with a hangover that feels like a quieter mind and clarity. I wonder if the powers-that-be could make a one-to-one with Kim compulsory for all people? I reckon it would change the world.” Sabrina Pathan, Toynbee Hall, East London.
For 30 years I was completely evangelical about the personal improvement / personal development paradigm, driven by questions such as:
• What’s not perfect yet?
• What would be ten times better?
• What’s missing in your repertoire of strategies?
• What’s the secret that you don’t know yet that high-performers know and apply consistently?
• What are the seven steps to cracking X, Y or Z?
• How can you ‘hack’ your way to a better life by ‘modelling’ people who are more successful, happier, better?
Underlying all of these questions is a belief (invisible to me at the time) that:
WE ARE NOT ENOUGH
(good enough, smart enough, successful enough, thin enough, happy enough, creative enough, fun enough, etc.)
We have all grown up buying into the illusion and believing that our experience of life is outside-in, so it’s a completely innocent misunderstanding.
All of this was done from a sincere and positive intention. I really wanted to make a difference.
What I didn’t see, and do now, is that there’s an easier way.
The fastest-growing understanding of psychology on the planet right now asserts the exact opposite:
• Our experience of life only ever happens inside-out.
• We are already perfect and whole – but for our personal thinking.
• You have everything you need, inside you, already.
• Our true nature is clarity, peace, well-being and love.
• You are constantly connected to your own wisdom.
• You are so much more than your current story about who you are.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m NOT saying there is nothing to learn – there is SO MUCH to learn. But the answers do not lie outside of you.
What I do these days is point people back to the true source of insight, wisdom, understanding. The well-spring of ideas, solutions and strategies that are just perfect for you, right now – given all the variables.
I’m finding that I’m making much, much, more of a difference that I ever have before, as I see the profound truth in these words by Syd Banks:
“We have the most wonderful job in the world. We get to tap people on the shoulder, and be with them as they wake up to the full magnificence of life”