This week, the musing comes from one of the members of my He’Art of Thriving Tribe – Fiona Morey. I’ve been so impressed with the insights and realisations that Fiona is having as she looks in this direction, that I thought I’d just share what she wrote to me. So, over to Fiona:
As part of our He’Art of Thriving Coaching Tribe journey Kim has suggested that we might want to create a goal or a project that we want to achieve over the six months to help us play with our own infinite creative potential.
I want my project to show how the He’Art of thriving and the Three principles of Thought, Mind and Consciousness have helped me in this journey of my human experience. I have already seen my experience of life transforming, and my understanding deepens each time I’m with the HoT tribe, doing the suggested reading or watching a video and the Saturday Salons.
As I was thinking about my one to one coaching session coming up I wanted a way of quickly showing all the areas of my life so I could be succinct in explaining what was going on. I didn’t want what I perceived as barriers to get in the way of the life I can feel happening. It would also help clear my thinking and hopefully give me a start in creating my project.
I then remembered that I had used the ‘Wheel of Life’ many times before to help me prioritise what was happening in my life. You’re probably familiar with this tool – you draw a circle with a line down the middle, and then two more lines – so that you end up with eight segments, and the label each of these using the categories of life that are important to you, e.g. health, relationships, money, career, business, spiritual growth, etc. etc.
This seemed like a good place to start as it would quickly show Kim how complex things were. It felt a bit old hat as I thought it through and I became aware that I was feeling uncomfortable as I thought about scoring each of the areas, but I wasn’t sure why.
I arrived at my coaching session and I reminisced about how I had used the wheel monthly in my ‘gold time’ to review and look at what I would focus on next month. I began to realise that I had used it from the premise of how badly I was doing and that I needed to do better. It became another stick to beat myself with. I always had scored myself with low marks in all areas. A 7 was doing well!! As I looked at it from my new thinking I didn’t want to undermine myself any more.
I became conscious that I was now coming from a place of innate well-being and innate health and that I can just polish the beautiful diamond that I am, so of course I struggled to even ‘score’ it.
My well-being is no longer linked to the circumstances of my life. I am whole and complete and these ‘circumstances’ are a part of my human experience. As we explored the changes in me we recognised that these circumstances were a hangover of my past thinking and they didn’t have the same ability to impact my mood or my well-being. I didn’t need to focus on how bad these circumstances made me feel anymore because how I am perceiving them isn’t real. It is just how I am thinking about them ‘now’ and that thinking will be different in a different ‘now’ as I let the thoughts move on by. Sometimes these circumstance now excite me as I have something to get my teeth in to. Sometimes they make me sad, another time happy.
I now appreciate that this tool, whilst it can be useful in some circumstances, isn’t really a Wheel of Life at all – it is a Wheel of Circumstances – made of thought. In fact, even the categories that I used to ‘score’ are made of thought.
Scoring it no longer feels valid. I can still become aware of these different areas – and even take actions as my wisdom suggests to me. But, these days, more and more I know that I’m OK regardless of ‘how well I’m doing’. My happiness comes from inside and is formless and so it is hard to describe!
My project then became clear as I realised I needed to declutter my life of my past thinking and as I do that I am naturally finding I want to clear out my home, clear the food that doesn’t serve me from my life, and complete some of the jobs that have been hanging over me for years! This is all happening calmly and easily and at times without me even realising. Some of the things may not happen as fast as I would have demanded of myself in the past but I am being kinder to myself and finding that the closer to ‘Home’ I am the more energy and focus I have for the things that really matter.
Thank you Kim for giving me the time, space and your belief in me as I access my wisdom and am making the changes I have wanted to make for so long. In all the things I have studied to make a better me I feel I have now find the truth that will help me live a happier, calmer life that gets better and better each time I access a bit more wisdom.
I’ve discovered that I enjoy it all a lot more when I just roll along on the Wheel of Life – rather than judging myself on some thought-created Wheel of Thought about my circumstances.