What’s the Cheese you’re looking for?
A good friend shared a metaphor this week that really spoke to me.
It concerns mice, cheese and broccoli š
But before I share it with you, Iām reminded of the very old, well-accepted truth that we never really want the thing we want, we want what we think having it will get us.
Nobody really wants bits of green, wrinkly paper with pictures of notaries on.Ā Nobody really wants a red Ferrari, or a promotion, or a little cottage with roses growing around the front porch ā for the thing itself.
When I used to major on teaching state management, Iād say that itās ALWAYS a feeling weāre really after. Ā I would often have people do an exercise where they would go through their list of goals, one by one, and āchunk upā to the feeling or state of mind they were really after.Ā People usually listed feelings like security, peace, success, love, freedom, adventure, significance or worth.
It does help to know what youāreĀ reallyĀ after ā because then we can usually find several ways of getting it.Ā We can operate more from a place of choice and options.
Often, in my experience, people donāt know what theyāre really looking for ā so they settle for what society tells them theyĀ should want.Ā Or, for some people, they just know they donāt like what theyāre experiencing NOW, so almost anything else would be preferable ā which is why people sometimes ānumbā, using a whole host of different strategies.Ā As Jeff Foster, the spiritual teacher and Cambridge Astrophysicist says so profoundly:
Heaven is the present moment
Hell is the burning desire for the present moment to be different
So, onwards to the mice, the cheese and the broccoli.
Mice are already programmed with strong, life-preserving directives ā like GET CHEESE and AVOID CATS.Ā Actually the āavoid catsā thing is often more powerful, because if you get caught by a cat, having more cheese is no good to you anyway.
So, you donāt have to educate mice to be looking for cheese ā or avoiding cats – they already are.
Whatās the cheese that youāre already looking for?Ā Whatās the cheese that your clients or customers are already looking for?Ā Whatās the cheese that your loved ones are already looking for?
In my own journey of spiritual understanding, Iāve noticed a few levels to this ā and we see links right back to Maslow and his hierarchy of needs.
At the most basic level, human beings ā like all living things – are programmed to survive of course. Ā Then, itās shelter and so on.Ā I want to pick up after all these needs have been met, which is where most people in western society already are.
At the next level, people seem to want STUFF, which can be achieved through the acquisition of money.
Then, when they get the āstuffā, they realise that the stuff doesnāt ādo it for themā ā at least not for very long.
So, now, the cheese we want shifts in form, and becomes the āhow-toās. Things like:
- How to become a better (insert what you want to becomeĀ better at)
- How to get more confidence (a biggie)
- How to communicate with Presence, Charisma, Influence
- How to create a better work/life balance
- How to achieve higher performance at work
- How to have better, easier relationships
- How to have more energy
- How to create better health
- How to be more creative
- How to manage change
- How to find the perfect romantic partner
- How to lose weight
- how to have the perfect body
- How to reduce stress, anxiety, overwhelm
- How to reduce conflict
Again, these are all āmeans-goalsā as distinct from āends-goalsā.Ā The belief is that, were we able to master these how-toās, weād finally feel whole, loved, worthy.
Spiritual seekers throughout the ages have realized that itās never really the cheese they want anyway.Ā Donāt get me wrong, I like cheese as much as the next person⦠but, deep down, I know that broccoli is better for me in the long-term.Ā And, of course, itās not either/or anyway ā we can have BOTH.
In this metaphor, broccoli represents things like:
- Innate well-being
- A sense of being fully ALIVE
- Peace of mind
- Love
- A sense of connection with all that is
- Knowing anything is possible
- That itās ALL a ride! If you haven’t seen it, here’s a recommended little video from the late, great comedian, Bill Hicks:
- That we are spiritual beings having a human experience
For the past 25 years, Iāve created a successful business selling people various forms of cheese.Ā These days, Iām probably more in the broccoli business.Ā But Iāve found that it doesnāt work to just keep telling people to eat broccoli.Ā When people are still searching for cheese, they donāt want broccoli.Ā They may not even know that broccoli exists, and theyāre a bit suspicious about it š
Right now, Iām experimenting with serving people broccoli with a tasty cheese sauce ā which is working quite well.
Iād love to know what you think about all this.Ā Whatās the cheese youāre looking for right now ā and have you tasted broccoli?Ā It really is quite delicious!
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